Noelle's Angel Day

Today marks the fourth angel day for my sweet baby girl Elizabeth Noelle. She was born sleeping due to the fact that i had an unknown heart condition. She gave her life and in turn granted me mine. I have often wonder what life would be like if my baby had made it. I wonder how i would have felt to hear her call me mommy. To see her lashes wet with tears. To hold her in my arms till she fell asleep. To smell her curls after a nice warm bath. But once the what ifs moment passes i look to God for support and strength. It still blows me away how he loved me through the moments where he carried the blame for Noelle's death. All the times i would fight and cry with him reminding him of how he saved Jarius' daughter and rose Lazarus from the grave, yet he could not save my child. The times i would react as any mother could have when facing such grief. He loved me. He nurtured me back from the emotional coffin i laid myself in. But today i want to remember those sweet moments i held Noelle in my arms. Her tiny feet, and tiny toes. Her soft skin, and the way she looked so peaceful in my arms. Today she celebrates her birthday in heaven as two strong mommies reminded me with tender love. My prayer is that as you read this you find strength in one small fact. You are not alone! I felt it too! I said it too! I cried like you, and i still do. There is strength in numbers, Noelle taught me that today! Happy Birthday my sweet sweet baby girl! I love you with all of me.

mom